A letter to my future wife...

As I sit here and think about where my life is headed, I realize that as much as I try to avoid it, you will one day cross my path. I have tried to stay away from you, I have tried to not think about you and to just focus on me, but I realize that one day you will step into my life and change everything and so I accept that and I want you to know a few things.

I promise to take care of you. I promise that for the rest of our lives and beyond, you will be the most important person in my life. Not my parents, our children, my boss, or anyone will take more importance in my life than you. You will always be the most important person and thing that happens to me and I will make that obvious every day. I will take care of you financially, I am hard working and I am doing well for my self so far. I am ambitious and if I have to, I will work two jobs and support the family. You will never know a day with me where I am not busting tail to provide for you.

I will always protect you. I promise you that in these arms, you will always feel safe and secure. No one will be able to bring harm to you because I will always do anything to keep you from that. In my arms you will find strength to fight for you, but you will also find comfort and warmth for those times you just need to be held.

I promise to spoil you. You will always be my queen and I will always treat you as such. I have learned so much babe, so many experiences that have helped me be better for you and I know that it will always be important to me that you feel spoiled in every way possible.

I will always listen to you. Those nights where you just want to talk about your day at work, or how the kids behaved, I will listen to you always and you will forever have a chatting companion when you are with me. I promise that I will not be annoyed when you just want to cuddle and talk. I promise that I will not make fun of your silly stories about shopping and the problems between you and your girlfriends, I will always take everything you say important and you won’t ever have to fight for my attention.

I am not perfect. I have a past and there are things in my life I am not proud of. But the Lord has forgiven me and if you can find it in your heart to forgive me as well, I promise you that all those things I have lived will be so I can be a better husband and father. They will serve me as experience to know how to handle situations in our family. I promise you that I have become a better man because of it. I know we will fight, I know we will argue, but I promise you that I will never go to bed upset, I will work it out with you all night if I have to.

And finally, I promise to always love you with everything that I have. I promise to always show you that I care for you and love you. My words will not be alone; my actions will always dictate my love for you and what you mean to me. Everyone around us will know that I adore you and will be so jealous of our relationship, but none of that will matter, what matters is that you will be the happiest you have ever been everyday of our lives and for all eternity.

I promise you all these things and wait anxiously your arrival. Your future husband,

Disraeli

The Truth Always Comes Out...

I have noticed that I have turned this blog into a venting source rather than keeping track of my weight loss. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t had too much to blog about as far as weight-loss is concerned, or that I am a whiny man who has a lot of issues to air out. All I know is that it feels great getting my thoughts and feelings out for the world to read!
This week I want to address the topic of telling the truth. It is such a simple concept but it is one of the hardest things that we as humans have to deal with, being truthful and honest in everything we do. We all lie, whether it’s a small fib or a double life, we all fall victims of this practice. I know I have.

When I was younger I lied to my parents, I lied about my grades, lied about skipping school, lied about breaking the mayo jar. I was a little hellion who had to cover up with stories that sometimes didn’t even make sense. I am not proud of it, although I would like to think that it was just my immature child in me that did all that, I tell myself that we all told a few lies here and there when we were kids.

As an adult I have found that the reasons why we lie have not changed much. Some people lie to make themselves look better. Some poor sap who hasn’t done anything in his life might show up at his high school reunion and say he is some big shot banker. We sometimes lie to cover our butts, like the woman who has been cheating on her husband and lies about who she was with the night before. Sometimes we lie because we are ashamed of the things we do, like that friend you all have who is hooked up with that girl no one likes and lies to everyone that he’s not with her but everyone knows he is. For whatever reason, we all lie, some less than others but we all do it. I know I have in my adulthood, lucky for me I admit to it so I have tried to do all I could to redeem myself for that.

Lying sucks, we do it and most of us feel bad about it, but when the thing about lying that I have learned is that the truth will always come out no matter what, and when it does it can hurt more than the lie itself. I have experienced that many times in my life, I have been lied to and then later on the truth comes out. I have lied and then later on had to confess and apologize. But some lies hurt more than others. Like for example, when I get married (which is not anytime soon) I hope that I can tell my future wife everything about my past, everything that might come up later that might hurt her, it’s her right to know. I have a shady past, I have made mistakes in my life, and I would want her to know everything so that if it ever comes up one day, she is not surprised. I would ask her to forgive me, as the Lord has forgiven me and if the truth was too much for her, then we would move on. But I most certainly would never lie to her, because a new family, a new married couple, cannot last based on lies. It just doesn’t work that way. My mother always told me that whatever starts bad, ends bad. It’s so true, so why start a new life, a new family based on lies?

We all make mistakes, it’s that natural man in us that surfaces and makes us do what we do, but we all have a part of our Heavenly Father with us as well, we are His children, literally. He sent His Son to die for our sins so that we may be with Him once again. If He has forgiven us, then that heavenly part inside us should be able to forgive others. But how can I be forgiven of what I have done if I keep it to myself? It is impossible, it can’t be done. My friends, I urge you that we pray for each other that we may be truthful at all times and that when we mess up, we have the strength to redeem and fix the wrongs we have done, but mostly, the strength and humility to forgive those who have wronged us. This world would be so much better if we were all like the innocent babies we once were. May God bless you all.

A Message To The Haters…

Throughout my life I have noticed that there will always be people who hate who I am, hate what I do, and hate what I stand for. These people are the ones who gossip about you, who talk bad about you, and who try to make your life a living hell. But what’s worse than those people are those who you think are your friends, but behind your backs are the ones tearing you down, whether they know it or not.

Recently in my job there have been a few events that have made me question the relationships I have with people. The first big experience I had was my promotion to Assistant Regional Sales Manager. I was working in the call center for a little over a year when I was offered this promotion. Now, not many people get to make as big a jump as I did, and of course it was shocking to so many that I was offered the position. What most don’t know is that I have had a lot of previous experience which helped me land the job, not only that, but I had worked hard to earn a trip to Arizona a few months prior which helped me prove myself to my current boss, Jonathan Hallstrom. But anyway, let me tell you about my first experience.

When I was offered the job, so many people came out and told me not to take it. Everyone seemed to have this idea of Jonathan as being a tyrannical dictator and they all said I wouldn’t last long working with him. What blows my mind is that some of the people telling me not to take the job are people whom Jonathan speaks highly of. One thing I have learned from Jonathan is to be humble in the face of adversity. Jonathan knew of an individual who was speaking badly of him, and rather than calling him out, he humbled himself and wrote him an email letting him know how much he appreciated what he does and who he is, this taught me that in the end, those who make it a point to put down and degrade others, will have to face and answer for it in the end and it is not our job to call judgment upon them. We all make mistakes, we all have our bad days, and we all see the world differently. We may do or say things that ruin relationships with others, but that do not necessarily reflect on our character. It is amazing what a few rumors, miscommunication, and bad previous experiences can do for the reputation of an individual. Well, I am glad I didn’t listen to all those people. Today I can tell you that Jonathan has been the best boss I have ever had. He entrusts me with my job and lets me conduct my business as I see necessary, but also gives me guidance and is always there to help me. Not only that, but he has also become a dear friend of mine and I owe him so much for helping me in my dark times. The funny thing is, I interact with him every day, and those who speak negative of him don’t, so let’s do the math and figure out who is right in this equation…

My second experience with negativity is my own. Those who are reading this are probably Facebook friends of mine. You all know I love that damn thing! I love to keep in touch with everyone since I am far away, and I love to keep everyone posted on what I do, and yes, maybe shock you every once in a while. It’s what I do! If you are my Facebook friend, it is because you have been a part of my life in one way or another. But what makes me sad and hurt is that there have been rumors started because of my Facebook account. People see pictures, read my status, and they draw to conclusions without asking me or checking with me. Now, I am an open book. I have nothing to hide. I have one face and one face only. If you see something on my Facebook that makes you wonder what I do, ask me! I will tell you, I promise. But what I don’t like and what I won’t tolerate are rumors that go too far. I love my job, my job is tough but my job is rewarding. You can ask those who work with me, I put in long hours when needed, work from home off the clock, I do what I can and try to go beyond what is asked of me and my number one concern is to make my boss happy with my work. Which from what I understand, he is.

It is amazing that as a society we are so eager to listen to gossip and then turn around and spread it to others without taking the time to find out if it’s even true. Not only that, but why can’t we just be happy for others? Why can’t we look at all the positive things about an individual and remember that we are not perfect. It reminds me of some adversity Lance Armstrong went through, he is a guy who has done some amazing things in his life and people were saying he was using drugs, a reporter asked him to respond to allegations to doping and he said, “Everybody wants to know what I’m on. What I’m on? I am on my bike busting my ass off for 6 hours a day, what are you on?” I have success because I have worked for my success, I didn’t get the job because I knew somebody or slandered the name of other applicants, I got the job because of my hard work and being willing to stand out in a sea of other individuals and go above and beyond what was asked of me. What are you doing? You are sitting at work, gossiping about me, my boss, my region, sitting there on your set job, set schedule, you don’t have a cell phone ringing at all hours of the day and night, tying you to IPCs and you don’t get yelled at when people in Utah makes mistakes. Your job is not tied to revenue, your job is not tied to EBIT, your job is not like mine. So just like Lance, people ask me how I got my job. Because I am willing to bust my hump, 10-12 hours a day, day in day out, month in, month out, so next time you hear rumors about me or my region, stop and think of how much damage you are doing to us and remember that we are all on the same team.

So, to all those out there who think they know who I am, who judge me for things they see or hear, who start rumors and gossip and make assumptions on my life, both personal and professional… GET A LIFE! Get to your job, get to work, and stop ruining your name by spreading filth and dirt that you can’t prove. Remember that God will be our judge and has asked us to stop judging others. Remember that when we gossip, speak ill of others, we are hurting more than one person, we hurt ourselves as well. And the day will come when “their basket shall not be full, their houses and their barns shall perish, and they themselves shall be despised by those that flattered them.” D&C 121:20