The Only Thing in Life that’s Consistent is… Change

Recent events have sparked certain emotions in my life that have caused me to ponder the mysteries that life brings us. I think each and every one of us has stopped at one moment in our lives and pondered how we got to that point. For some people, that point could be a faraway place they never thought they would be in. For some, life’s changes and challenges have brought them to a better understanding of who they are and have created a definition of the characteristics that mold us and define how we stand against the rest of the world. But one thing is certain, life is full of surprises and it brings much change.

A very close friend of mine is leaving in a few days to embark on a new journey that will shape him and that could set the tone for the rest of his adult life. As he prepares to take on this new challenge, an old acquaintance comes home from a similar experience. I call him acquaintance because the friendship that once was, has been damaged deeply and a reparation would be a challenging one. I think about these two individuals. I think about my own experience of leaving a world that was so comforting and so familiar only to come home 2 years later and finding a very different place waiting for me. I think about this old friend of mine and how what once was a great brotherhood was ripped apart by something that wasn’t even worth all the damage that it caused.

I sit here and wonder how life will be when my good friend comes back. I wonder what type of world he will be coming home to. A boy gets on that plane and leaves to a far away place where he will have to learn to face the world and all its pain and tribulations head on, who will the man be that comes back? Change is always a challenging aspect of our mortal lives. Plans are wonderful, they help us have a focus and allow us to set goals for ourselves, but the only thing that’s certain about this life is that it’s constantly changing and the key to success, is to be able to adapt well to those changes. There is a great truth in the commonly used phrase: “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Our ability to adapt to the challenges that life gives us is what’s going to determine our success in this life. Life is too short and precious to be wasting it moping around and wishing that things hadn’t changed the way they did. Put your trust in that source of strength that you have. Whether it’s through your religious beliefs, your family, your friends, there is always something in your life that’s going to help you cope with the changes that life brings you.

I hope that as you read this, you find a little bit of encouragement in being able to face the challenges that change brings into our lives. May you all be blessed in the journey that life takes you on. God bless.

Dis.

Why I Created Disraelism...

To understand Disraelism, you have to understand the kind of guy I am. I have always been curious, always questioning things and wondering how they work, especially spiritual things that tend to not have a simple answer. I have also been fascinated by the mysteries in life. I always joke with people that I would love to become a Freemason, and will likely do it in my life time. I love conspiracies, I love the occult, I like knowing that we are not alone and firmly believe in ghosts and other taboo subjects. I was blessed to serve an LDS Mission in a land of magic and dark forces, a place where witchcraft and spells are abundant, I love that stuff!

But let me also make this disclaimer. I am LDS. No matter how weird I sound, how blasphemous I get, I will always be a member of the Mormon Church, aka The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is the foundation of my life and what brings happiness to it. I see how much it has blessed my life and the lives of others and to deny that I know is true would be wrong.

So what is Disraelism? Before you go off and try to get me excommunicated you need to know this: It is a joke; it is not something that I believe in as a religion. It started as an awesome group of work friends back at Tahitian Noni. We would get bored and we would email each other the foundations of a religion that was based on the Simpsons and other common interests that we had. It was a way for us to keep entertained in a miserable environment and it created some very strong friendships.

What is Disraelism now? Really, my belief is that people (especially around this valley) take life much too seriously. I am a firm believer that laughter is the best medicine. I have laughed away some major disappointments in my life and the more I learn, the more I believe this to be true. You can’t take life so serious ALL the time. You have to open your heart and soul to laughter, to the weird things in life. Basically that is what Disraelism is to me; it is my chance to merge some of the humor in my life with this lifelong dream of people following me. It’s my way to express some of my blasphemous ideas in a safe way were I can’t get in trouble for them. If you read a Disraelism update and it makes you giggle, I have done my job! IT IS NOT MEANT TO DETRACT OR MISLEAD PEOPLE. I can’t stress that enough. Disraelism welcomes and is open to people of all faiths!

So if you want to add a little bit of inappropriate, questionable humor to your life, Disraelism is for you! If you take things too seriously and you are offended by my religion, then don’t join, simple as that, chances are that I didn’t want you joining anyway ;) But stop emailing me, stop harassing me telling me I will burn in hell, and let us enjoy the humor that is life. God bless you all and ALL HAIL DISRAELISM!!!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Disraelism/166368370371?ref=ts

Changes... Once Again...

After some thought and careful consideration, I have decided to go back to the original reason I started this blog, which is to share the things that life teaches me every day in hopes that it may help someone or simply entertain those who are close to me. I feel like this direction was always so positive and uplifting, were my last direction opened the doors for negativity and misinterpretation. My views are the same; I am a different kind of Mormon. But I do not wish to offend those who are close to me, and I do not want to be the vehicle for LDS slander. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I welcome comments both here and on Facebook.

What made me want to change? I had a very eye opening weekend. Some of you know by my previous post that I had been questioning some of the direction that the LDS Church had taken during the whole Proposition 8 fiasco. And although I still have questions and concerns about the matter, I have learned to have a little more faith and trust those who I know make decisions that may or may not always be easy to accept. This past LDS General Conference was an eye opener. I went about it with humility and with many questions on my mind that I felt deserved an answer. And in the end, everything was answered. I almost feel as though conference was directed to me specifically. Not only were the words specific to the questions I had, but I had a strong spiritual confirmation that it was all true.

I have also been blessed by getting to know someone very special, a lovely and virtuous daughter of my Heavenly Father. Even though I don’t know too much about her, just talking to her and getting to know her has helped me view things in a different way and inspires me to want a better, more spiritual life for myself. I haven’t felt that in so long. I look forward to getting to know her more this weekend and see if what I feel has validation.

Thank you my faithful readers. I know that some of you, as you read my frustrations and concerns, have prayed for my well being and have been concerned that I might be heading towards a path of rebellion and disobedience. I realize that as I make some changes in my life, I may lose friendships and some might see me as phony. But these are the experiences that shape us and give us the opportunity to strengthen our testimonies.

God bless you all.

Uptight and Judgmental

This is a revision of the post earlier, I am in NO WAY BACKING DOWN from my original thoughts, but I felt I needed to be a little bit more clear in some aspects. Yet I know it will still spark controversy and hate, enjoy:

To say that I am back enjoying casseroles and substituting hell with “heck” and damn with “dang” is just not plausible. You see, I am a different kind of Mormon. Call me Jack Mormon, call me a hypocrite, call me what you want. But I do not fit in to your usual Sunday morning zoobie with parted hair and a cheesy smile. I am far from perfect and sometimes I still wonder why I am part of a Church where I am looked as rebellious when anywhere else in the world I am a very good person. You see, that is my problem with some of its members. Unfortunately some of its members ruin what is a beautiful religious institution, and the worst part is that its not just a few who ruin it for the rest of us, it is many people.

Take for example Prop 8 in California and 102 in Arizona (which I lived there during the campaign). The issue sparked a great deal of controversy and in some cases, some very hateful comments were made in Facebook groups and during rallies by very prominent LDS members. I have gay and lesbian friends, big shocker! A Mormon with gay friends? Yes! It is perfectly fine. I love them very much. They are very good people and are fun to be around. They respect my beliefs and I respect theirs. I admit I have fallen in that Mormon trap of thinking that it was wrong and a sin, I have learned my lesson and know now that it was not Christ-like of me to think that way. Did Christ not teach tolerance? Did he not say to love one another? I am not saying that we should accept everything that everyone does, if someone is an alcoholic I don’t have to accept that drinking is ok, but I can learn to love that person. But sometimes we confuse acceptance with tolerance. You see, my gay friends, to me are just friends. They aren’t a label. I don’t think, hey it’s Joe my gay friend, no. It’s just simply Joe. If Joe lives a certain lifestyle that I don’t, it doesn’t mean anything but that we are different.

One time someone came up to me and asked if I was a Mormon. The way that they asked made me wonder if I had done something wrong that may have given them the idea that I wasn’t. I replied that I was and wondered why they asked. She said: “Really? You just aren’t uptight and judgmental like the others…” Unfortunately I knew exactly what she was talking about, so I took it as a compliment. Sadly, a lot of Latter Day Saints, especially in Utah, grow up extremely judgmental and uptight. I know of a few Facebook friends who deleted me because they saw something controversial in my profile. During the time I was being rebellious and wasn’t living the Doctrine of the LDS Church, lots of people stopped talking to me and scorned me for my choices. Come on people, that is not right, that is NOT what Christ taught. Hate the sin but don’t hate the sinner. But unfortunately lots of Mormons don’t see it that way, and I only say that because I have seen it firsthand.

What is the lesson here? A true Christian learns to love all people, no matter what race, color, background, culture, sexual preference, you get the point. How can members of a church claim to be the “one true church” when they judge and point fingers, when they scorn individuals for the lifestyle they live. I am sure this is NOT what Christ meant for His church. Have the Brethren not spoken to us about these things? I could get into racism but that would be a completely different post. We need to change the way we are viewed by the rest of society, we need to be better examples of what a true member of the LDS Church is supposed to act. People used to hear the word “Mormon” and they would associate it with kind and charitable people, now days the term “Mormon” is so negative and is usually followed by the words, “judgmental” and “uptight”. I know I have A LOT of things I need to change in order to portray a better example, I am not innocent in this matter.

From Life Lessons to Controversial Views

After some thought, and due to some of the recent media spotlight on the Church I associate myself to, I have decided to change the direction and focus of what I write about.

Some of you know that I am LDS; Mormon if you will. Maybe not the best one according to its laws and practices, but I am very much a Mormon guy. I was born a Mormon and for the longest time was one because it was what my parent’s had taught me. It was what made sense and I didn’t know any other world. Now, this doesn’t mean I have always been a faithful one, as I stated earlier, I had my periods of… let’s just call it rebellion to stick to religious terminology. I have seen the other side, I have had the privilege to experiment what the world has to offer. And even though my personality seems to enjoy the temporal fulfillment, my soul was always in conflict of these things and is what eventually brought me “back” to what I knew was right.

This blog is a way for me to voice my opinions on being a liberal and spiritual man in a world of conservative Latter Day Saints. I would like to make it very clear from the beginning, these are only my opinions and not facts. I apologize if this new blog direction is going to offend some, as I am sure it will. But as I try to define who I am, I have found that honesty, though brutal at time, is what makes me the happiest.

This Is The Way I Am…

I would say that I have probably lived a far more strange life than most Mormons have. The shelter of the Utah bubble since my arrival to the States at the age of nine has been in most my years, a non-existent Mormon myth. I am grateful for the experiences I have lived that will maybe someday bring in financial gain with some sort of book deal, but as I reach the wonderful and dreadful age of 25, I look back at my life and wonder what it all means.

I have been rebellious most of my life. My personality, by nature, is one of mischief and trouble. I think it began on the playgrounds of the private schools I went to in Mexico. I was this skinny, large headed kid, in the middle of rich, snobby types whose lack of parental control caused them to act out in places outside the home. I was always picked on for being the quiet kid, the one that was never good at sports and would rather sit by himself and doodle in his writing notebook. But when the chance to start a new life in the States came to me, I knew that it was my opportunity to start over and decide what type of kid I would be.

I arrived here when I was nine. I was the new guy in town who spoke little to no English. At the time, Utah had not experienced the Latin boom that it did a few years after, so I was the brand new and exciting toy for everyone to explore! I quickly learned English, thanks to all the new white girls I had attracted that were inviting me to their homes and bringing me to dinner like a show and tell project. I think my love for women began here, unless we count the times in kindergarten when I was receiving free cookies from this little blonde girl in return for kisses, but that’s another story.

Since the age of 9, somehow I always got in trouble around my birthday. What is it about my birthday that causes me to want to do naughty things? I remember one particular time, it was 5th grade and there was a kid by the name of Spencer. His house had that awful smell of urine, and I knew it was because of him. He tried being my friend so much that I actually started hanging out with him after school. We would play monsters with my little sister whom I walked home every day. But then there was that awful day I felt he had roughed her up a little more than I would have liked. I tackled little Spencer to the ground and knocked him out cold with a swift punch to the eye. I panicked! I knew I would be in deep trouble. So I took some pencil led and darkened my eye so it would look as if he had hit me too, bad idea. This only made my teacher more upset because I was trying to hide the fact I had attacked this kid in what looked to be “no good reason”. A year later, again, around my birthday, he had been sick for several days and all the kids were collecting valentines for him to send to his home (my birthday is 2 days after Valentine’s Day). I found a Valentine of some masked duck shooting some sort of love gun, but I changed it so the duck was telling Spencer that he was going to kill him, I know I know, really bad idea. I sent him his Valentine and knew I would be in deep trouble. But being the mischievous person that I am, I disconnected the phones from the walls on my birthday so Spencer’s parents would not call and ruin my birthday fun! Well, they showed up to the house the following day and I was in deep trouble.

I could go on and on about all the different times I have been in trouble around my birthday, but I don’t feel I need to air out my dirty laundry, ha ha. My point is that this has been a problem most my life, and it doesn’t make sense sometimes because I have a very spiritual and good person inside me. I think I have mentioned in previous posts that I feel like 2 very different human beings, and of course this is natural in most cases. But mine are so different that sometimes I worry I need to start seeking professional help! Either that or I just need to find that happy medium where both can coexist? I don’t have the answers; all I know is that this is me. I am who I am, and deep down I know I need both of these personalities, or else I wouldn’t be me.

Nice Guys Finish Last?

The eternal struggle between good and evil is still so actively controlling my life right now. In the post below, I mention the two sides of me and the different roles they play in my life. This remains true today. But as I try to keep the good side controlling the bad, I realize that it is a harder task than I imagined. Not because I am evil by nature, natural but not evil, but because the good side of me always seems to finish in last place.

“All guys are the same!” Whenever I hear these words come out of a girl’s mouth, I always cringe with disgust and my natural response is to point out their obvious delusional state. But I don’t. I always ask why they think this is and the responses are always the same. Some guy played with their feelings and blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda… for the most part, they have a valid point and I don’t blame them for their hostile feelings towards my gender. But is that really true? Of course it’s not! You see, the problem with most women who say something like that is that they always fall for that same type of guy. It’s almost comical once you dissect the situation. They get hurt, they vow to never fall for someone like that again, along comes Pete with his charming good looks and nice car, they are instantly attracted to him and they fall for the guy even though he seems to be EXACTLY the same as the one before. But they don’t see that, they are blinded by the outside and don’t seem to take the time to check out the inside. They get hurt; they curse the world and out comes the phrase, “ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME!” Does anyone else find this ridiculous?

No Sally, guys are not all the same. You are just falling for the same type of guy. Why is that? I have seen both sides. I have been the jerk, the player, the guy who won’t commit and who is self centered and selfish. I have been there. You know what disgusts me about that? It was during that time in my life when I was dating like crazy! It was as if women WANTED that, they liked the bad boy that had that dark mysterious crazy look in his eyes, the guy who didn’t call when he said he would and broke many promises. They liked the passionate fights and the arguing, they liked being on their toes and worrying who I had been with the night before… does anyone else find this strange?

Well I refuse to go back to that. I have so many girl friends whose lives have been torn by guys who have crushed their self esteem and worth. I know of so many women who have cried themselves to sleep because some jerk who played with their feelings, some guy who promised them the world and gave them crap in return. I have two sisters, fortunately for me the oldest one is married to an incredible guy who respects her and loves her dearly. The younger one is who I lose sleep over. I constantly worry about her well being and hope that no man hurts her. I would not hesistate to brake someone's legs if they broke her heart. My sisters have kept me from falling into that role of jerk and player. I am far from perfect but I try to be the gentleman that my mother struggled to raise.

So a message to all women: guys are not the all the same, there are some incredible men out there who will treat you like a Princess, guys who will respect you and pay for all your meals and will never lie to you. They are out there I promise. If you are worried that nice guys aren’t fun, I can assure you that they are. Do yourself a favor and show the world that nice guys are still desired and go out with one for a change! Guys: enough is enough. We need to change our perspective of what a man is. A man does not cheat on his woman; he doesn’t lie to her to cover up something ridiculous he did. A man pays for dinner, opens the door, compliments on how beautiful she looks. He takes care of her and protects her and will never let anyone else say a single negative word about her. This is what being a man is.

May the New Year bring us the opportunity to start over with a clean slate and accomplish the goals we have set forth. God bless you all, my readers.