Oh The Joys of A Singles Ward!

Today I write to you about something that has been bothering me all weekend, and as I have before, apologize if this offends anyone. With these posts, I encourage discussion, even if you think I am completely wrong. I am not afraid to admit when I am wrong and so with that disclaimer, I would like to talk today about the things that have been bothering me lately.

This past weekend I had the privilege to attend a wonderful church meeting, I will not go into details as to what exactly that meeting was to try and keep this as anonymous as possible, all I will say is that there is no denying that it was a very wholesome and spiritual meeting and enjoyed by many.

During this meeting, as I do in others, my fiancée was kind enough to scratch my back as she does in all church meetings. You see, I grew up a spoiled little brat. I inherited the need for attention from my mother and the love of a good back scratch from my father. Growing up, my loving mother always kept me from being rowdy during church by relaxing me with a good old fashioned scratch. That responsibility later fell on my sisters as long as the favor was returned and in some cases, with a small monetary bribe. Later on in my life when church became a source of anxiety and fear, the soft fingers running around my back and neck became a useful tool in keeping me from running out of the church screaming.

Well during this meeting, as mentioned above, my fiancée did as she always has and scratched my back, and I returned the favor of course with that a very simple, innocent, and loving way to show our affection. There was nothing inappropriate, nothing that hadn’t been done before, just tickling the back and arm as we always do.

The meeting was over, the Spirit there was incredible. Everyone seemed to have had a very enjoyable time, until I saw this person walking towards me; I knew she was going to say something because she had that angry look like I had done something wrong. She approached me and wanted to talk to me and gave me that disclaimer that everyone gives when they are about to offend you: “I don’t want to offend you but…” You know what I’m talking about, those phrases that seem to give people permission to tell you whatever they want without any consequences. Well she said it, and then proceeded to tell me that when my fiancée and I “caress” each other it’s very distracting. Normally wouldn’t be bothered but more humored, but she sad it with a very angry tone, so much that a woman who was standing near us talked to me about it, more on that to come. Her voice was cracking as if she was near tears, her face very patronizing with that “better-than-thou” look. I asked her who was complaining and she answered with a brief and hostile: “I’m saying it!”

Once she got all she needed to get out she walked away. I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything because I can be quite the jerk when attacked. My mind filled with comebacks which I will not mention because of how hurtful they could have been. Instead, I kept my mouth shut and when she walked away, the woman that had witnessed the whole thing proceeded to tell me: “That was weird!”

Yes it was weird! Everyone reading this raise your hands if you have NEVER scratched someone’s back or arms during church. It is something I have been used to all my life and especially now that I am in love and soon to be married. I love making Lindsay feel loved and taken care of. But this individual didn’t see it that way. Who goes out of their way to notice things like this? My opinion is that when you are in tune with the Spirit, things around you do not seem important, your focus is on what is being said, the spirit of the meeting. Her hostile words and angry demeanor made me think that this person was not feeling the same spirit that everyone else was and it was unfortunate that she had robbed from the atmosphere of such a spiritual event with her judgmental and aggressive manner.

Roger Merrill, the Sunday School General President, said the following: “When we focus instead on seeking and receiving the Spirit, we become less concerned about a teacher or speaker holding our attention and more concerned about giving our attention to the Spirit.” I think this also applies on what happens around us. When we are focused on what the Spirit has to teach us, we become less aware of what others are doing around us. Not only that, but did Jesus not ask His disciples to not content with each other over the Gospel?

To those of you who are quick to judge. Who go to Church to notice what everyone is wearing, what they are doing whether it be wrong or not, to point out the mistakes people make, criticize the lessons taught, and etc etc etc… I say, look inside, find those things within you that YOU need to change and focus on bettering yourself. Focus on what the Spirit has to teach you, I promise that if you do, the things that happen around you will not matter.

Things I have Learned the Past Four Years

A few weeks ago marked the anniversary of being home from my mission. Four years actually, I have been home a lot longer than I served, which is a weird feeling. It has been the strangest, most productive, most fun, challenging, and blessed years of my life... so far. So I would like to compile a list of things I have learned these past 4 years, in hopes that others might learn from them too. So here they are, in no particular order I might add...

1. Attitude is everything. We all face hard times that test our faith, our morals, values, and the strength within us. But with hard times, we must face them with a positive attitude and we can always know that we will come out triumphant.
2. Pity parties never accomplish anything. You know the person, the one always feeling sorry for themselves. Always moping and groaning and whining. These are the types of people who will NEVER get ahead because they are too self indulged to see the blessings around them. We have all done it, no one is blameless in this issue. But there are those who live on this "woe is me" attitude most their lives and they will never be happy.
3. Faith and hope can get you through everything! There is so much power in the things that cannot be seen or felt. I have been on the side where I no longer believed in a higher power, and I have found that life became much more harder than ever before. Why? We all have the need to connect spiritually with a higher being, it is important to the development of our soul. To know that we are not alone, and have faith and hope that all things will one day come together like the pieces of a puzzle.
4. Don't take life too serious. So many people take things too seriously, and do not find the laughter in things. I understand that some things are sacred, and should not be played with. But don't overdo it. Life is too short to be grumpy and anal about things. Have fun, laugh it off, and remember that a little inappropriateness is sometimes OK.
5. Changes are out of your control. Don't get bent our of shape whenever there are changes in your life that you have no control over. But remember, that you do have control on the way you adapt to those changes. For more information, see point 1 :)
6. Most people dying to get married, wont, sorry. This is for all you ladies and guys out there in Mormonland who feel the pressure of getting married young. I understand you see your friends around you getting married and it makes you want to do it too. But take your time, it will happen one day. I have seen this so many times, those that are desperate to get married usually don't do it as fast as those just letting things happen. Let the chips fall where they may. Enjoy the moment, plan for tomorrow but don't live for tomorrow.
7. Friends come and go, but family is everything. The most important relationships you can have, are the ones you make with your family. Friends are nice and a very important aspect of your life. But the friendships you make with your family, will the the ones that last an eternity. Don't compromise those relationships for things which are temporal. If you are in a relationship which takes you away and damages that bond with your family, chances are that relationship is not good for you and will not last.
8. Service to others is the key to happiness. The times where I have felt the most happy in my life is when I was helping others. If you ever need a pick-me-up, are in dire need of blessings, or just want to change the daily routine you are stuck in, find a way to serve others. Service to others can have a huge impact on your life, it will boost your self esteem, help those that are in need, you will develop new relationships, and you will be doing something honorable and note worthy. Find the opportunities to serve in your everyday lives.

There are many more things which I want to share, but for the time being this is what I give to you. I hope that as you read these words, a spark within you is ignited and you make a small change in your life for the better. Sometimes, we live through challenging times so that we can bless the lives of others through our experiences. May God bless you all.

Dis

The Only Thing in Life that’s Consistent is… Change

Recent events have sparked certain emotions in my life that have caused me to ponder the mysteries that life brings us. I think each and every one of us has stopped at one moment in our lives and pondered how we got to that point. For some people, that point could be a faraway place they never thought they would be in. For some, life’s changes and challenges have brought them to a better understanding of who they are and have created a definition of the characteristics that mold us and define how we stand against the rest of the world. But one thing is certain, life is full of surprises and it brings much change.

A very close friend of mine is leaving in a few days to embark on a new journey that will shape him and that could set the tone for the rest of his adult life. As he prepares to take on this new challenge, an old acquaintance comes home from a similar experience. I call him acquaintance because the friendship that once was, has been damaged deeply and a reparation would be a challenging one. I think about these two individuals. I think about my own experience of leaving a world that was so comforting and so familiar only to come home 2 years later and finding a very different place waiting for me. I think about this old friend of mine and how what once was a great brotherhood was ripped apart by something that wasn’t even worth all the damage that it caused.

I sit here and wonder how life will be when my good friend comes back. I wonder what type of world he will be coming home to. A boy gets on that plane and leaves to a far away place where he will have to learn to face the world and all its pain and tribulations head on, who will the man be that comes back? Change is always a challenging aspect of our mortal lives. Plans are wonderful, they help us have a focus and allow us to set goals for ourselves, but the only thing that’s certain about this life is that it’s constantly changing and the key to success, is to be able to adapt well to those changes. There is a great truth in the commonly used phrase: “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Our ability to adapt to the challenges that life gives us is what’s going to determine our success in this life. Life is too short and precious to be wasting it moping around and wishing that things hadn’t changed the way they did. Put your trust in that source of strength that you have. Whether it’s through your religious beliefs, your family, your friends, there is always something in your life that’s going to help you cope with the changes that life brings you.

I hope that as you read this, you find a little bit of encouragement in being able to face the challenges that change brings into our lives. May you all be blessed in the journey that life takes you on. God bless.

Dis.

Why I Created Disraelism...

To understand Disraelism, you have to understand the kind of guy I am. I have always been curious, always questioning things and wondering how they work, especially spiritual things that tend to not have a simple answer. I have also been fascinated by the mysteries in life. I always joke with people that I would love to become a Freemason, and will likely do it in my life time. I love conspiracies, I love the occult, I like knowing that we are not alone and firmly believe in ghosts and other taboo subjects. I was blessed to serve an LDS Mission in a land of magic and dark forces, a place where witchcraft and spells are abundant, I love that stuff!

But let me also make this disclaimer. I am LDS. No matter how weird I sound, how blasphemous I get, I will always be a member of the Mormon Church, aka The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is the foundation of my life and what brings happiness to it. I see how much it has blessed my life and the lives of others and to deny that I know is true would be wrong.

So what is Disraelism? Before you go off and try to get me excommunicated you need to know this: It is a joke; it is not something that I believe in as a religion. It started as an awesome group of work friends back at Tahitian Noni. We would get bored and we would email each other the foundations of a religion that was based on the Simpsons and other common interests that we had. It was a way for us to keep entertained in a miserable environment and it created some very strong friendships.

What is Disraelism now? Really, my belief is that people (especially around this valley) take life much too seriously. I am a firm believer that laughter is the best medicine. I have laughed away some major disappointments in my life and the more I learn, the more I believe this to be true. You can’t take life so serious ALL the time. You have to open your heart and soul to laughter, to the weird things in life. Basically that is what Disraelism is to me; it is my chance to merge some of the humor in my life with this lifelong dream of people following me. It’s my way to express some of my blasphemous ideas in a safe way were I can’t get in trouble for them. If you read a Disraelism update and it makes you giggle, I have done my job! IT IS NOT MEANT TO DETRACT OR MISLEAD PEOPLE. I can’t stress that enough. Disraelism welcomes and is open to people of all faiths!

So if you want to add a little bit of inappropriate, questionable humor to your life, Disraelism is for you! If you take things too seriously and you are offended by my religion, then don’t join, simple as that, chances are that I didn’t want you joining anyway ;) But stop emailing me, stop harassing me telling me I will burn in hell, and let us enjoy the humor that is life. God bless you all and ALL HAIL DISRAELISM!!!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Disraelism/166368370371?ref=ts

Changes... Once Again...

After some thought and careful consideration, I have decided to go back to the original reason I started this blog, which is to share the things that life teaches me every day in hopes that it may help someone or simply entertain those who are close to me. I feel like this direction was always so positive and uplifting, were my last direction opened the doors for negativity and misinterpretation. My views are the same; I am a different kind of Mormon. But I do not wish to offend those who are close to me, and I do not want to be the vehicle for LDS slander. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I welcome comments both here and on Facebook.

What made me want to change? I had a very eye opening weekend. Some of you know by my previous post that I had been questioning some of the direction that the LDS Church had taken during the whole Proposition 8 fiasco. And although I still have questions and concerns about the matter, I have learned to have a little more faith and trust those who I know make decisions that may or may not always be easy to accept. This past LDS General Conference was an eye opener. I went about it with humility and with many questions on my mind that I felt deserved an answer. And in the end, everything was answered. I almost feel as though conference was directed to me specifically. Not only were the words specific to the questions I had, but I had a strong spiritual confirmation that it was all true.

I have also been blessed by getting to know someone very special, a lovely and virtuous daughter of my Heavenly Father. Even though I don’t know too much about her, just talking to her and getting to know her has helped me view things in a different way and inspires me to want a better, more spiritual life for myself. I haven’t felt that in so long. I look forward to getting to know her more this weekend and see if what I feel has validation.

Thank you my faithful readers. I know that some of you, as you read my frustrations and concerns, have prayed for my well being and have been concerned that I might be heading towards a path of rebellion and disobedience. I realize that as I make some changes in my life, I may lose friendships and some might see me as phony. But these are the experiences that shape us and give us the opportunity to strengthen our testimonies.

God bless you all.

Uptight and Judgmental

This is a revision of the post earlier, I am in NO WAY BACKING DOWN from my original thoughts, but I felt I needed to be a little bit more clear in some aspects. Yet I know it will still spark controversy and hate, enjoy:

To say that I am back enjoying casseroles and substituting hell with “heck” and damn with “dang” is just not plausible. You see, I am a different kind of Mormon. Call me Jack Mormon, call me a hypocrite, call me what you want. But I do not fit in to your usual Sunday morning zoobie with parted hair and a cheesy smile. I am far from perfect and sometimes I still wonder why I am part of a Church where I am looked as rebellious when anywhere else in the world I am a very good person. You see, that is my problem with some of its members. Unfortunately some of its members ruin what is a beautiful religious institution, and the worst part is that its not just a few who ruin it for the rest of us, it is many people.

Take for example Prop 8 in California and 102 in Arizona (which I lived there during the campaign). The issue sparked a great deal of controversy and in some cases, some very hateful comments were made in Facebook groups and during rallies by very prominent LDS members. I have gay and lesbian friends, big shocker! A Mormon with gay friends? Yes! It is perfectly fine. I love them very much. They are very good people and are fun to be around. They respect my beliefs and I respect theirs. I admit I have fallen in that Mormon trap of thinking that it was wrong and a sin, I have learned my lesson and know now that it was not Christ-like of me to think that way. Did Christ not teach tolerance? Did he not say to love one another? I am not saying that we should accept everything that everyone does, if someone is an alcoholic I don’t have to accept that drinking is ok, but I can learn to love that person. But sometimes we confuse acceptance with tolerance. You see, my gay friends, to me are just friends. They aren’t a label. I don’t think, hey it’s Joe my gay friend, no. It’s just simply Joe. If Joe lives a certain lifestyle that I don’t, it doesn’t mean anything but that we are different.

One time someone came up to me and asked if I was a Mormon. The way that they asked made me wonder if I had done something wrong that may have given them the idea that I wasn’t. I replied that I was and wondered why they asked. She said: “Really? You just aren’t uptight and judgmental like the others…” Unfortunately I knew exactly what she was talking about, so I took it as a compliment. Sadly, a lot of Latter Day Saints, especially in Utah, grow up extremely judgmental and uptight. I know of a few Facebook friends who deleted me because they saw something controversial in my profile. During the time I was being rebellious and wasn’t living the Doctrine of the LDS Church, lots of people stopped talking to me and scorned me for my choices. Come on people, that is not right, that is NOT what Christ taught. Hate the sin but don’t hate the sinner. But unfortunately lots of Mormons don’t see it that way, and I only say that because I have seen it firsthand.

What is the lesson here? A true Christian learns to love all people, no matter what race, color, background, culture, sexual preference, you get the point. How can members of a church claim to be the “one true church” when they judge and point fingers, when they scorn individuals for the lifestyle they live. I am sure this is NOT what Christ meant for His church. Have the Brethren not spoken to us about these things? I could get into racism but that would be a completely different post. We need to change the way we are viewed by the rest of society, we need to be better examples of what a true member of the LDS Church is supposed to act. People used to hear the word “Mormon” and they would associate it with kind and charitable people, now days the term “Mormon” is so negative and is usually followed by the words, “judgmental” and “uptight”. I know I have A LOT of things I need to change in order to portray a better example, I am not innocent in this matter.

From Life Lessons to Controversial Views

After some thought, and due to some of the recent media spotlight on the Church I associate myself to, I have decided to change the direction and focus of what I write about.

Some of you know that I am LDS; Mormon if you will. Maybe not the best one according to its laws and practices, but I am very much a Mormon guy. I was born a Mormon and for the longest time was one because it was what my parent’s had taught me. It was what made sense and I didn’t know any other world. Now, this doesn’t mean I have always been a faithful one, as I stated earlier, I had my periods of… let’s just call it rebellion to stick to religious terminology. I have seen the other side, I have had the privilege to experiment what the world has to offer. And even though my personality seems to enjoy the temporal fulfillment, my soul was always in conflict of these things and is what eventually brought me “back” to what I knew was right.

This blog is a way for me to voice my opinions on being a liberal and spiritual man in a world of conservative Latter Day Saints. I would like to make it very clear from the beginning, these are only my opinions and not facts. I apologize if this new blog direction is going to offend some, as I am sure it will. But as I try to define who I am, I have found that honesty, though brutal at time, is what makes me the happiest.